HE’S SO STUPID HE CAN’T SCRATCH HIMSELF WITHOUT FALLING DOWN THAT’S CUTE
In 1808, Napoleon, running out of scenic holiday destinations to invade, somehow totally forgot about his neighbor to the south, Spain. So that year he dispatched his troops, kicking off the Peninsular War.
Only 20 years old and working as a barmaid in the town of Valdepenas, Juana Galan was not expecting a surge of French soldiers to come storming through her village. But on June 6, that’s exactly what happened. At that time, most of the men were fighting Napoleon’s forces elsewhere in the nation. Juana, unfazed by things like rifles and Frenchmen and French riflemen, began organizing the women in her village to form a trap for the approaching army.
When the army arrived, Juana and her friends were ready. They dumped boiling water and oil on the French troops, which by all accounts will instantly take the fight out of pretty much anyone. Then Juana, armed with only a batan, beat back the heavily armed French cavalry with her squad of village women, almost none of whom were armed with guns.
The French retreated, giving up on capturing not just Juana’s town but the entire province of La Mancha, leading to ultimate Spanish victory. Today, she is seen in Spain as a national hero, a symbol of resistance, strength, patriotism, feminism and hitting shit with a stick.
That’s one hell of a portrait.
hitting shit with a stick
This is maybe the best portrait of anyone that I’ve ever seen, ever.
If that portrait doesn’t scream “A hundred motherfuckers can’t tell me nothing” then I don’t know what does.
I love how my brain shuts down and I run out of things to say on the second to last page of every paper that I write
Just kidding it’s THE WORST MOTHERFUCKING THING I’M GONNA FAIL THIS PAPER AND FAIL OUT OF SCHOOL AND DIE ALONE
Nina Simone - Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood.
— Elizabeth Cady Stanton (via miss-sardonic)
but just now I wanted to text the word “together” and my autocorrect suggested “riverbed.”
I almost sent out a text that said “I need to get my shit riverbed”
That sounds really gross
HEY IF I GET AN OKCUPID PROFILE WHERE DO I MENTION THE PART ABOUT BEING AFRAID OF CHOKING ON CARROTS AND HUMMUS WHEN I’M HOME ALONE
- “I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns.”— Elizabeth Cady Stanton (via miss-sardonic)